It’s amazing what you realise when you wake up before your alarm clock goes off. it’s the new year and I’m on annual leave so its beyond me why I am up before 6:00am with nowhere to go, I woke up disoriented by the loud reverse warning alarm on what I can only assume was a dustbin truck, so I guess they’ve changed their pick up day from Thursday to Friday, I’m not at all surprised that my local authority failed to inform me of that minor change.
I literally dragged myself out of my bed and walked over to my bay window, one, to confirm it was actually the bin men and two to ensure that the wing mirrors on my fiat 500 were still intact. I spent too much money on my lovely new car, it’s pearlised white too, so “I ain’t got time for any damage” Note to self, ‘bin men now come on Fridays and not Thursdays”.
I wonder what else will change in the New Year? I did notice whilst snooping out of my window, trying to avoid being spotted by the bin men for fear of being labelled as the meddlesome busy body at number 18 who just so happens to be a thirty something singleton, that my neighbours front yard looked exceptionally manicured in comparison to my somewhat neglected flower bed graveyard, even my evergreens were struggling, I must add that on my DIY list of things to do this year, one things for sure, nothing much has changed with me, I am still Gesnay King still a thirty something singleton, still living south of the river… now with one more job added to a DIY list that strangly enough metaphorically resembled a dating history of men never to trust or rely on because they never completed the jobs they volunteered to do; I can only assume it was all testosterone crammed attempts to impress me, instead of statements of intent.
‘If I wanted something doing I should just do it myself’ my new year resolution. I mean why cant today’s men just stick by their word. “Gesnay I’ll come round on Saturday morning after the gym to put up your blinds babe and I’ll bring you breakfast too. These were the words of the last interested party that I have now decided to cut all communication with; Dean Landen the sales manager at my gym. I should have concluded he wasn’t serious when I met him, I was being charmed into a yearly contract at the gym with a promise to use it at least three times a week, another note to self, ‘set realistic goals.’
A couple weeks later he took my details from my contract sent me one single red rose with a message attached “Miss King, from my records you have not been to the gym in two weeks so your diet must be over, have dinner with me”…. My First thought was how many times has he sent messages like this to other unassuming female members of the gym, then I thought “mmmm… what should I wear on my date.” We went on a few dates which were surprisingly really nice, and other times we hung out at my flat never his, which hello… big flipping red flag that I completely ignored. then December 30th I woke up really early which I hated to do on a Saturday, showered, tied my freshly straightened hair in a loose bun I decided to wear my slightly overpriced love potion no. 9 beach jumper and my vintage jodhpurs with a little dab of Narcisso Rodriguez all in an effort to look and smell effortlessly fly and waited…
This fool sends me a text at 3:45pm “sorry Ges, had to go into the office, work emergency” Won’t finish until 5:00pm I’ll call you. Humph… It always amuses me that men underestimate the power of female intuition.
Needless to say he wasn’t at work because I checked, he was however on a lovely day out with his one year old and fiancé because… I checked, how… The wonders of Facebook and twitter, he hadn’t realised I’d been following his feeds since I signed up at the gym… I know, I know ‘stalker-ation’but it just so happened that his fiancé must have had her intuitive hat on too, because she decided to mention Dean in her tweet, which read “Late present for me and our baby’s 1st birthday from my fiancé and baby daddy…@BigD #familydayout #justsayin
Note to self. Go online and find a DIY man; my blinds still need to go up, oh and delete that fools number, #keepitmoving #sticktothoseresolutions